Late cuz of the hack, but holy hell the world is insane

Well folks, not to repeat myself, but…shit be cray.

The news continues to roll out like it was being written by John le Carré, chained to radiator in David Cronenberg’s basement, subsisting entirely on moonshine and Sour Patch Kids.

What the ever-loving hell is going on?

Well I wanted to rant a bit, but frankly there just hasn’t been that much going on. Oh sure, we laughed at Team Shart sending known adulteress Callista Gingrich to Vatican City as the fucking ambassador, and there were a few more humiliating polls, but all in all, it’s been so quiet you’d almost think we lived in normal times.

Absolute Batguano Insanity

The madness has gone into overdrive ever since the Dried-out Play-Doh Manatee decided he didn’t need no stinkin’ oversight and fired James Comey, and we’re all just careening around the Wasteland in search of fuel and crullers these days.

Let’s start with the dastardly act of deception perpetrated by the Russians in the very Oval Office itself! It seems a photographer from a Russian state-owned media agency took a photo of Drumpf with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, and published it without American consent! “They tricked us,” a White House official said, “They lie!”

The GOP tripping over themselves to show us all just how much they hate the American people

Well, the GOP decided to throw a little theme party this week, and the theme was CRUELTY. Stung by all those You Ain’t Done Shit About Shit 100 days pieces, everybody from the lowliest wannabe Klansman serving on a small town school board to the dead-eyed demons occupying the highest perches of political power decided to show the country just what the Republican Party is all about: the vengeful, destructive hatred of everyone who disagrees with them. There was punch, a piñata that turned out to a DREAMer, and a rousing game of musical chairs where a group of plebes with kids who were born with genetic diseases competed believing the winner would get health insurance, but when there was just one chair left Paul Ryan took it away and everyone laughed and toasted with champagne that costs more than most folks’ rent.

Craziest day yet. And that’s saying somethin’.

After dallying for a few days in the realm of the merely nutty, the news took a turn for for the poop-flingingly insane today, folks. What the walking hell is going on in this country?

Remember how we all gathered around our phones and tablets Sunday afternoon waiting for the French Presidential election results to roll in? Because this is what we do now, we tune in every few weeks to the hot new game show “Nazi, or Nah?” And thank god (or whatever the God of France is, some sort of large, rude, talking crepe, I imagine) they elected the one who isn’t a Nazi and other countries were learning from our mistakes and we smiled and felt good and then we noticed that we were still only two minutes closer to the midterms.

Pin It on Pinterest