NEW FOR YOU:
Shower Cap’s Action Guide for the Goddamn Midterms
That’s right, as the midterms approach Shower Cap has assembled a handy guide for learning more about the most crucial midterms races – the candidates, the issues, the contact info and the donate links. Get educated and jump into action. It’s never been easier than Cap has made it for you.
American Madness Journal
I'm probably gonna regret saying this...I know we're nowhere near out of the woods yet, and I know things will probably get worse before they get better. Still, sifting through the usual shitstorm of madness today...is it my imagination or was there just a weeeeee bit...read more
Hey, before we jump in tonight, don't forget to check out Shower Cap's Action Guide for the Goddamn Midterms! Everything you need to navigate the 2018 elections, and focus your activism! It's a hoot, you'll dig it, I promise. I'm really starting to come around on...read more
Fucking hell, what a weekend. You saw where John Lewis was suddenly hospitalized and you were all, “2018, you motherfucker! DON'T. YOU. DARE.” But then Lewis was discharged with a clean bill of health, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg said she was planning on serving for at...read more
Hey, I guess they found water on Mars? GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. My bags are packed, y’all. Rocket me the fuck off this planet before somebody does something legitimately insane, like invent mayonnaise-flavored ice cream. ...GODDAMMIT! There probably isn't any money left...read more
Today, Jason Spencer is a Raving Maniac, Screaming Slurs While Chasing a Man with his Bare Ass. In 2024, He Will Be the Republican Nominee for President.
Anybody else holding out hope that one morning, you'll wake up in your bed back on the farm in Kansas, with Aunt Em and Uncle Henry and three farmhands who look suspiciously like Adam Schiff, Robert Mueller, and Rachel Maddow huddled around you, and maybe that night...read more
All the Russia News You Can Shake a Stick At, and then More Russia News. Sale on Shaking Sticks in the Shower Cap Store.
Greetings, Shower Captives! It is I, Shower Cap But From the Future! I have returned from the trenches of Montenegro in 2025 to warn you of the impending Fourth World War That's Right Montenegro Actually Starts Two Different World Wars in the Next Ten Years! Anyway,...read more
Hello Comrades! Tonite, fantabulous new direction for blog! We join new world order, tell poop jokes about Crooked Hillary's e-mail server and Elizabeth Pocahontas! What? Nyet, am not Russian bot, am Bath Cap! Kidding of course. But today has been batshittier than...read more
As Batguano Insane as the Strzok Hearing Got, I Did Not Expect the Day’s News to Eventually Land on…Woodchucks?
The madness has a distinctly international flavor this week, as though we've all been locked inside the It's a Small World ride with nothing but hallucinogenic mushrooms to eat. Well, let's get this shit over with. Everybody has their own little vices, right? Maybe...read more
Honestly, I would like to be released from this so-called Fun House now. It's been a year and a half. The cotton candy is stale, the mirrors make me look bloated and orange, and the clowns insist on setting foreign policy. I wonder if Mike Pompeo has noticed the Cuck...read more
If Whatever Angel of Justice Finally Came for Scott Pruitt Could Look Jim Jordan Up Next, That’d be Great…
Another day in the goddamn madhouse. This is the week I read about a bunch of lions devouring some poachers and felt a pang of envy. Lions don't have to wait till the midterms to solve their problems, y'know? I am totally not advocating eating Donald Trump, by the...read more
This week, we celebrate Independence Day. And we should celebrate extra hard, because Paul Manafort can't. I don't think they allow Roman Candles in solitary. Kim Jong-un is certainly throwing a party, in honor of his Independence From Having to do Anything Even...read more
Hey you. Yeah, you. Crawl out from under that blanket. Yes, I know it's been a shitty week, but we have work to do. Did I say shitty? That may be understating it. The Supreme Court really rubbed our faces in the whole “instead of Merrick Garland you have a...read more
Tonight, I’m Calling For a Million Propaganda Minister March on Washington in Support of Sarah Sanders’ Civil Rights
Y'know, now that we've spent a couple weeks inside Stephen Miller's shitty Harry Potter fanfic, where Hogwarts is a military-run detention camp with government-orphaned kids sleeping in cages under space blankets...I have to say I don't much care for it. It's been a...read more
Welcome to the All-New, All-Civil Shower Cap Blog! (Civility is a Trademark of the New York Times Company)
As the nation grapples with issues like “Is the free press really worth the trouble?” and, “Baby jails, Good, or Nah?” the New York Times helpfully reminds us that the REAL problem in America today is an all-around lack of civility, on all sides, shame on everyone....read more
Having a hard time with this one, friends. The gags don't come as easily when when you're dealing with atrocity, rather than the standard buffoonery. Like, “Didja hear the one about racist fascist president who took thousands of children hostage?” There's no...read more
Welcome to the Inaugural Shower Cap Blog Contest! Guess How Much Republican Racism There is in This Week’s News! Fabulous Prizes Await!
Hey hey, Shower Captives! We're gonna play a little game with today's blog. Without scrolling ahead, see if you can guess how many different stories of the GOP's increasingly inhumane racism/bigotry/unashamed open white supremacy appear in this round-up, which picks...read more
Excellent news, Comrades! The Antifa-Canada alliance has been finalized, and the launch of Operation Jade Helm II: Deep State Boogaloo is imminent! Pick up your Soros-issued paycheck at the Pizzagate joint in your neighborhood, and await General De Niro's orders! Paul...read more
Scientists have created a “psychopath artificial intelligence” by giving it input from the darkest corners of the internet hell men call “Reddit.” Just to spice things up a bit, I have turned today's blog over to this AI. ...just kidding. All this shit happened. In...read more
It's another one of those days when you can't tell which is greater; the malevolence of the ruling regime and their allies, or their raw, mush-brained, imbecility. It's like watching a pack of meth-addled clowns attack the Lincoln Monument with hammers and hacksaws....read more
Hey hey, Shower Captives. First weekend update in awhile, trying to get back to the old schedule. I'm swinging between extremes of laughing my ass at off at the absurd incompetence of the reigning regime and weeping uncontrollably at their cruelty, so cut me some...read more
This one was hard, friends. For the first time, shit was so abominable, I didn't WANT to blog about it. The news has been like a cheese grater, slowly, painfully, eroding my brain into a pile of taco toppings. I wanna stick my head in a sauna till it sweats out the...read more
Fuck, y’all. I am no longer equal to this moment. Today cries out for a monologue from Howard Beale, but like, a sweaty, WWF-style 'roid rage Howard Beale, screaming “I'm as mad as hell, and I'LL SEE YOU INSIDE A STEEL CAGE AT SUMMERSLAM!!!! We were given terrifying...read more
Well, I'm blasted out of my mind on allergy meds again, Shower Captives, so I can't strictly vouch for my accuracy tonight. If I write a paragraph about Mazie Hirono riding a griffin to Capitol Hill and letting it eat Orrin Hatch...just double-check my work, is all...read more
Hey there, Shower Captives, I'm back from a much-needed weekend of re-charging and relaxation, courtesy of Riot Fest Chicago. I tried to go cold turkey, but I confess I kept checking the news until my battery died and I was forced to just, y'know...live in the moment...read more
Congratulations to the Victims of Hurricane Maria, You’ve Been Upgraded from “Tragically, Senselessly Killed” to “Non-Existent”
Reading the news in the morning is like getting shaken awake by carnies, who proceed to shove you against your will into the human cannonball, then blast you face-first into a septic tank. Over and over. Every damn day. It wouldn't be so bad if they'd let you have a...read more