Shower Cap

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18 hours ago
Hah! I was already not eating romaine lettuce literally every minute of my life!
18 hours ago
Isn’t this like offering a free cookie? https://t.co/0tn3C4Sq5m
18 hours ago
Proven to be inefficient. Of COURSE they’re doing this. https://t.co/YPqVZOYoZI

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American Madness Journal

J.K. Rowling’s Sean Hannity and the Phantom Jizz Painting

J.K. Rowling’s Sean Hannity and the Phantom Jizz Painting

Today was nutty, even by the dryer-full-of-badgers standards to which we've grown accustomed, right? I sorta wish I could get those creepy-ass North Korean cheerleaders to deliver tonight's post, that seems appropriately gonzo. The entire planet was rocked by the news...

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Pence Gets Pantsed While Rand Rants and Kelly is Konfounded

Pence Gets Pantsed While Rand Rants and Kelly is Konfounded

When I was a kid, Sunday nights meant curling up with the Simpsons and the X-Files (and Touched by an Angel, because I was dating a Baptist girl), but now I'm stuck wading through the weekend news, hoping nobody started WWIII.  Less fun. We're all just puttering...

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76 Fascists Led the Big Parade!  With 110 Klansmen Close at Hand!

76 Fascists Led the Big Parade! With 110 Klansmen Close at Hand!

Friends, I know the news batters us relentlessly these days, like a tornado in a hammer factory, but things aren't all bad! Why, Senator Angus King has successfully procured the lobster emoji his home state of Maine has long desired! WE'RE GONNA BE ALRIGHT! First of...

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Memo Williams: The Adventure Begins

Memo Williams: The Adventure Begins

I don't know how much more of this shit I can take, Resisters. I ate my therapy peacock three hours ago and now I'm picking my teeth with her last tail feather. "Oh, it can't be that bad, Cap. You're exaggerating, Cap. Let's poke around a bit, it'll calm you down."...

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THE STATE OF THE UNIOM IS THE UNIOM IS FUCKED!

THE STATE OF THE UNIOM IS THE UNIOM IS FUCKED!

Well, looks like Tom Hanks will be playing Mr. Rogers in a forthcoming biopic, and if that isn't the most heartwarming thing I've heard in months, I don't know what is. Cling to that image, of Tom Hanks warmly intoning, "Won't you be my neighbor?" because the rest of...

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Ron Johnson vs. the Secret Society of Voices in His Head

Ron Johnson vs. the Secret Society of Voices in His Head

Well, the Velveeta Vulgarian is out of the country for a bit. Less welcome at home than a wolverine with diarrhea, the President took his Desperate Need For Approval Since Daddy Never Loved Me Tour to Davos, hoping the world's financial elite would finally be...

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Shower Cap’s Shithole Shutdown Shpectacular! (And Shark Show!)

Shower Cap’s Shithole Shutdown Shpectacular! (And Shark Show!)

Hey folks...just hanging around, waiting for the government to shut down, with a snifter full of laudanum and a box of Target wine, thought I'd see if you wanted to give the week's madness a once-over. Let's start with a little good gnus. Team Blue flipped a ruby red...

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On Shitholes, Subpoenas, and Starbursts

On Shitholes, Subpoenas, and Starbursts

With the three-day weekend, surely the madness slowed down, if only a bit, right? No? Fuck. Fine. Sprinkle some bath salts on your Tide Pods, and let's wade through the muck. I have to admit I'm impressed with the legs on ShitholeGate*. We've grown accustomed to...

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Carthage Day for Steve Bannon, and Other Madness

Carthage Day for Steve Bannon, and Other Madness

Hey folks, Shower Cap got hit with the flu, so I've spent most of the time since our last update giving offerings to the Porcelain God. Anyway, it's only been a couple of days, I couldn't have missed much, right? ...never mind. Ok, folks. Strap on your hazmat suit,...

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This New ‘Santorum Says’ Advice Column is Gonna Be LIT

This New ‘Santorum Says’ Advice Column is Gonna Be LIT

Gosh, it's been almost quiet lately. Reading the news today, I've barely banged my head on the keyboard in despair and frustration enough to break the skin! Mike Pants emerged from his bunker just long enough tap his boss on the shoulder and say “Excuse me your...

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Shower Cap

Sign Up for My Updates!

18 hours ago
Hah! I was already not eating romaine lettuce literally every minute of my life!
18 hours ago
Isn’t this like offering a free cookie? https://t.co/0tn3C4Sq5m
18 hours ago
Proven to be inefficient. Of COURSE they’re doing this. https://t.co/YPqVZOYoZI

No Results Found

The page you requested could not be found. Try refining your search, or use the navigation above to locate the post.

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