Shower Cap’s Midterms Six-Packs

Awesome Women: Constituents to Candidates

These women all have two things in common: 1) After watching their bonehead incumbent Republican CongressJerk try to take away folks’ health care, they said, “Shit, I can do better than THAT guy,” and 2) They were 100% right.

The Good Gal

Cindy Axne

So, Cindy Axne found her way to politics in the best possible way; she encountered a problem that needed solving, (in this case, a lottery system for half- vs. all-day kindergarten in West Des Moines) and decided to put on her shit-kicking boots and solve it herself. A small business owner, Axne is running a campaign laser-focused on the needs of the Iowa 3rd, which is just how it oughta be done. This one’ll be a nail-biter, and Cindy could use your help.

 

Iowa

IA-03

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Toss-Up

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Toss-Up

The Bad Guy

David Young

Researching these entries, I was surprised at just how little information of consequence is out there on David Young, a two-term U.S. CongressDope. Another bland, tax-cuts-for-the-wealthy white dude, David is the walking definition of “backbencher.” His Wikipedia page is just a photograph of cold oatmeal. I see he wants to cut funding for Planned Parenthood, that sucks. Iowa, don’t you deserve better than Mr. Cellophane?

The Good Gal

Leslie Cockburn

Leslie Cockburn is an award-winning journalist and documentary filmmaker, and wouldn’t it be wonderful to fill Congress with truth-seekers rather than spin doctors? If she could handle Gaddafi, surely Louie Gohmert won’t be much of a challenge. She’s running on health care and environmentalism and college affordability and criminal justice reform and her own life’s work identifying problems and exposing bullshit. Normally you’d need a magic lamp to conjure up a first-time candidate this qualified.

 

Virginia

VA-05

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Likely Rep

Cook: Lean Rep

Sabato: Lean Rep

The Bad Guy

Denver Riggleman

Denver Riggleman owns a distillery, so it might take some serious shit to get me to turn on him. Oh, he campaigns with white supremacists? He can’t even seem to find the minimal decency it would take to denounce borderline-Klansman Corey Stewart? Yuck. He’s also running as a Freedom Caucuser, and I think that botched experiment has run its course, don’t you? And then there’s the Bigfoot porn thing…yeah, sorry Denver, there’s not enough booze in the world.

The Good Gal

Lizzie Pannill Fletcher

Lizzie Pannill Fletcher decided to run for office after attending one of her CongressJag’s town halls. “This useless little dope ain’t shit, I could do better than him,” thought Fletcher, and she was right. Lizzie is a Houston lawyer running to replace the walking archetype of an out-of-touch career party apparatchik. This is one of the real battlegrounds, friends. HRC baaaarely won this district, and if we can win these races in November, we can grind the Trump administration to a halt.

Texas

TX-07

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Tilt Rep

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Toss-Up

The Bad Guy

John Culberson

John Culberson has been in the House of Representatives since 2001, but you’ve never heard of him because he’s just one more useless, faceless, Republican backbencher. In 17 years, Culberson has accomplished less than a mildly motivated sandwich artist at your neighborhood Subway. A racist birther gun nut, John will keep fighting ACORN until the day he dies, despite the inconvenient detail that ACORN no longer exists. John hates science and the environment and poor people having health care and probably puppies.

The Good Gal

Betsy Dirksen Londrigan

Betsy Dirksen Londrigan is running for Congress because she’s lived through the sort of family health care crisis that her opponent wants to bring back. She’s been a teacher, an entrepreneur, an NFP fundraiser and an activist. She’s worked for Dick Durbin AND Abraham Lincoln, IMPRESSED YET? Health care is, of course, at the center of her platform, but all your favorite flavors are there, from education to guns to the farm issues so important to her district.

Illinois

IL-13

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Lean Rep

Roll Call: Lean Rep

Cook: Lean Rep

Sabato: Lean Rep

The Bad Guy

Rodney Davis

Rodney Davis has never worked a day outside of politics. He transitioned from campaign work to Congressional staff, ran for office a couple times, and lost, before finally finding a spot where he could get appointed in a smoky room without having to convince all those pesky voters. Rodney’s particularly afraid of the voters in his district; he does all he can to avoid actually meeting with them. One gets the impression Not-so-Hot Rod doesn’t care much for real people. Maybe that’s why he keeps trying to take away their health insurance.

The Good Gal

Kathy Manning

Kathy Manning is a Harvard-educated lawyer, a small business owner, and a nonprofit sector leader, who’s spent years improving folks’ lives in North Carolina, while her opponent was simply trying to sell them guns. Like so many of our candidates, she’s fighting for better access to health care because her family’s experience has taught her that Americans are more than just numbers on a ledger. This district is pretty dang red, but Manning might just be the candidate to flip it.

North Carolina

NC-13

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Tilt Rep

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Toss-Up

The Bad Guy

Ted Budd

Ted Budd actually OWNS A GUN STORE? Fuuuuuuuuuuuck this spittle-drenched Freedom Caucus loon. This clod is a freshman, so there’s not a lot out there on him beyond that he’s a reliable Drumpf rubber stamp. This race is closer than it has any right to be, possibly cuz Buddy Boy here is about as useful as scuba gear in the Sahara. NRA stooge, Club for Growth stooge, Trump stooge…good gravy this guy sucks.

The Good Gal

Dr. Kim Schrier

Dr. Kim Schrier is a pediatrician who took the leap from protestor to candidate when she saw the GOP was hellbent on repealing Obamacare, because that would, y’know…hurt people. Diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a teen, she understands what the health care system used to be like for someone with a preexisting condition. Dr. Schrier’s whole platform is strong, covering everything from gun control to reproductive rights to protecting the environment. Plus, she’d be the only female doctor in the House; I think that’s a voice we damn well need.

Washington

WA-08

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Toss-Up

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Lean Dem

The Bad Guy

Dino Rossi

Dino Rossi is, and after the other profiles on this page you may find this shocking, a rich white guy who wants to go to Congress to cut his own taxes. The NRA loves Dino. The Club for Growth loves Dino. The Koch brothers love Dino. Donald Trump loves Dino. The voters of Washington? Not so much, as they’ve rejected his candidacy for statewide office three times now. Probably because his life’s work consists largely of trying to take folks’ health insurance away while rubbing donor money all over his body.

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