Shower Cap’s Midterms Six-Packs

Awesome Women: Diversity Bomb

I bet the Kavanaugh hearings left you sick and tired of that gaggle of crusty old straight white dudes making decisions for everybody else, right? Don’t you think it’s long past time to get some new perspectives in Congress?  Why don’t we start with these ridiculously-qualified candidates?

The Good Gal

Sharice Davids

Sharice Davids makes plenty of headlines, as potentially the first openly LGBTQ Native American Woman in congress, and an MMA fighter, and a lawyer, but there’s so much more to like beyond the biography. Health care, DACA, voting rights, gun control, education…it’s all there. She’s whip smart, tough as nails, and has the sort of real-life experiences and perspective we need to counterbalance all those lawyers and businesstwerps on Capitol Hill.

Kansas

KS-03

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Tilt Dem

Cook: Lean Dem

Sabato: Lean Dem

The Bad Guy

Kevin Yoder

Kevin Yoder prides himself on his civility, he really does. So while he’s voting to take away your health care, or to cut his wealthy donors’ taxes, or to spend your money on Wee Don’s Big Stupid Wall, please imagine him tipping his cap and smiling. Since Yoder’s agenda isn’t popular with actual humans, he’s fueled largely by PAC and corporate cash. Anyway, in the end, Kevin is most famous for skinny dipping at a holy site, and the district where Shower Cap grew up fucking well deserves better.

The Good Gal

Lucy McBath

Of all our candidates, Lucy McBath is the strongest gun control advocate, a national spokesperson and Faith & Outreach Leader for Everytown and Moms Demand Action. Tragically, McBath’s activism grew out of her son’s murder at the hands of an armed lunatic who felt he had the right to shoot human beings to death because he thought their music was too loud. Beyond guns, Lucy, like all our best candidates, is running an issue-heavy, district-focused campaign.  Georgia is changing, my friends…let’s help it along.

Georgia

GA-06

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Likely Rep

Roll Call: Likely Rep

Cook: Lean Rep

Sabato: Likely Rep

The Bad Gal

Karen Handel

Karen Handel is so shitty, she’s managed to be shitty at CHARITY. While serving as a Vice President at Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Karen tried to cut off funding to Planned Parenthood, and when that blew up in her face, she threw a fit and quit. As Georgia Secretary of State, Handel was a ferocious vote suppressor. Anti-health care, anti-minimum wage, anti-immigrant, anti-LGBTQ…Karen Handel fucking sucks, y’all. We damn near beat her in last year’s special election, and she won’t have the undivided focus and support of her party this time ’round.

The Good Gal

Debbie Mucarsel-Powell

Debbie Mucarsel-Powell immigrated to the United States with her family as a child, and has been working her ass off ever since. She’s spent her career serving her community in the non-profit sector, mostly in health care and education. And, as you’d expect, her platform is full of thoughtful, district-centered, solutions. The Florida 26th is one of the most Democratic-leaning districts in the nation currently represented by a Republican, but Curbelo is a popular incumbent, and this is one of the only races that’s shifted in favor of the Republican in recent weeks.

Florida

FL-26

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Tilt Rep

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Lean Rep

The Bad Guy

Carlos Curbelo

Carlos Curbelo has a reputation as a moderate Republican, but he’s still voted with Trump 82% of the time, including on the Let the Filthy Takers Rot Act, excuse me, the “AHCA,” and the plutocracy-entrenching tax bill. I think maybe “moderate” meant something different when I was in school. He’s not bad on DACA, guns, LGBT rights, or the environment, and if I could airdrop him into Mark Meadows’ seat, I would. But that ain’t how this shit works.

The Good Gal

Gina Ortiz Jones

Gina Ortiz Jones is an Air Force veteran, and a former intelligence officer and civil servant who resigned in protest of Donald Trump’s fuckery, and then turned around and decided to boot one of his congressional sycophants straight to the private sector. Gina has squeezed several lifetimes worth of service, leadership, sacrifice and just plain hard-ass work into 37 short years. She’s focused on her district and sees right through her phony opponent.  Plus she’d be the first openly gay woman of color to serve Texas in the House.

Texas

TX-23

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Toss-Up

Roll Call: Tilt Rep

Cook: Lean Rep

Sabato: Toss-Up

The Bad Guy

Will Hurd

Will Hurd is one of those Republicans who likes to make occasional tsk tsk sounds at Trump, but still votes with him 95% of the time. This is particularly important in this race, because Hurd’s whole brand is Calm Rational Bipartisan Centrist. See, he paints himself as a noble moderate, but he votes like a right-wing fanatic. WE SEE YOU, WILL. In addition, Hurd, a former intelligence officer, has been one of Devin “PF” Nunes’ loyal stooges, so fuck him with a goddamn rake.

The Good Gal

Xochitl Torres Small

Xochitl Torres Small is a water attorney with lifelong ties to the district. A former staffer for Senator Tom Udall, Xochitl has been listening to the needs of rural, southern New Mexico for a long time now, and it shows in her platform; health care, water rights, energy development, broadband access, and education, with a focus on ESL for a region with a large Hispanic population. Xochitl Torres Small is yet another smart, tough, experienced woman who knows her shit, and she’d be a damn strong addition to our team in the House.

New Mexico

NM-02

Ratings:

FiveThirtyEight: Lean Rep

Roll Call: Tilt Rep

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Toss-Up

The Bad Gal

Yvette Herrill

Yvette Herrell is a 4-term NM state rep who serves on the board of everyone’s favorite band of corporation-humping ratfuckers, ALEC, ewwwwww. Herrell is clinging tightly to her Turd Emperor, praising his racist border policies and his dumbfuck trade war and even whining about “fake news.” She’s a gun nut and an ACA-repealer. Basically, Yvette Herrell wants to be among the first of a new breed of Trump Republicans in Congress, and that would just suck.

The Good Gal

Kyrsten Sinema

Kyrsten Sinema earned a college degree at age 18, whereas I couldn’t even balance a checkbook until I was 30, so it goes without saying I’m impressed. She’s been fighting the good fight as a social worker, an activist, a criminal defense attorney, a professor, a state legislator, and finally a U.S. Representative, for a couple decades and change now.

Now, in this coin-flip purple state race, both candidates are described as “moderate,” but let’s take a quick peek at the differences between what the word “moderate” means to Democrats these days, versus what it means to our frothy friends across the aisle.

Sinema has a 100% rating from Planned Parenthood. She has a D from the NRA. She’s voted to protect Obamacare. She’s for the DREAM Act. She’s passionately anti-war. She did vote to repeal the estate tax, but she opposed the GOP tax scam. Now look at “moderate” Martha McSally, across the screen. All in all, it’s been quite a while since there’s been a Democrat Senator from Arizona, and after 20+ years of Jon Kyl and Jeff Flake, Kyrsten would be a HUGE upgrade.

Also…I’m just sayin’, keep these two “moderates” in mind next time somebody tells you the parties are the same.

Arizona

Ratings:

Roll Call: Toss-Up

Cook: Toss-Up

Sabato: Toss-Up

The Bad Gal

Martha McSally

Martha McSally is trying to skate as a “rational” Republican, since her primary opponents were two of the worst human beings this side of Stephen Miller’s book club, but she still votes with Trump 97.8% of the time. Like so many of the cowardly enablers in her party, she criticized the Turd Emperor once upon a time, but abandoned whatever principles or morality she may have once possessed in her quest for political power.

Yep, she’s so “moderate,” she’s joined her House colleagues in refusing to conduct any oversight of the President, even as new evidence of his crimes surfaces practically daily. She very moderately voted to strip health care from millions of Americans, and to make the GOP’s wealthy donor class even wealthier via the famous tax scam. Surely it is the spirit of moderation that animates her opposition to LGBTQ rights. She’s so moderate on immigration that she drafts hard line “reform” bills. And you just don’t get any more moderate than a 20-week abortion ban, right?

Martha McSally is a veteran with a long, admirable military career. She certainly wouldn’t the worst Republican in the Senate, but this is a golden opportunity to stop the Trump/McConnell agenda cold. Pounce on it!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This