The Good Guy

Eugene DePasquale

Eugene DePasquale is a smart, dedicated public servant who does his homework and knows how to get shit done. As PA’s Auditor general, he’s achieved real progress towards just, efficient government, addressing the state’s unforgivable backlog of untested rape kits. He understands issues like health care and the opioid crisis from personal experience. A good man with a good resumé, he’d make a great Congressman.





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The Bad Guy

Scott Perry

Scott Perry is a decorated veteran and I thank him for his service…at least up to the point when he jumped on the maniac Tea Party Express and started fucking up our government. Scott’s the kind of dude who spouts conspiracy theories, like linking the mass shooting in Las Vegas to ISIS, and spreads deadly coronavirus disinformation. He’s an anti-choice, anti-health care, immigration hardliner/gun nut. Oh, and my proposed constitutional amendment that would bar doofuses who get humiliated by Sacha Baron Cohen from Congress would make him ineligible anyway.

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