American Madness Journal

I Know of No Reason Why the PowerPoint Treason Should Ever Be Forgot

I Know of No Reason Why the PowerPoint Treason Should Ever Be Forgot

 I’ve decided to adjust my attitude about this whole Fall-of-Rome thing we’ve got going on in America; I’m just gonna rub it in young folks’ faces, all the rights and privileges I had when I was their age. “Oh yeah, it was fuckin’ fantastic, you could tell the truth...

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Just in Time for Thanksgiving, a Cornucopia of Buttholes

Just in Time for Thanksgiving, a Cornucopia of Buttholes

 Forgive me if I’m off my game tonight, it’s been a dark, ugly, infuriating day. I’d love to focus on the good news, like the recently-enacted bipartisan infrastructure bill, or the House passing the Build Back Better Act, but the sheer, institutionalized efficiency...

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Fox, Facebook, and Other Monsters Under America’s Bed

Fox, Facebook, and Other Monsters Under America’s Bed

 Hey, before we get started tonight, a quick pro tip for the savvy news consumer: laminate the daily paper before reading it; that way, when one of the many stories of ascendant American fascism inevitably causes you to projectile vomit, you don’t render unread...

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Must’ve Been Some Sort of Sale on Nazi Shit This Week. Yikes.

Must’ve Been Some Sort of Sale on Nazi Shit This Week. Yikes.

 I never thought I’d wax nostalgic over the days when the sole purpose of the Republican Party was to make rich people richer, but now that they’re bringing equal guile and fervor to efforts to feed and grow their shiny new fascist death cult base, I confess I...

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Creeping Fascism SUXX, and Other Hot Takes

Creeping Fascism SUXX, and Other Hot Takes

 This week has been…an unusually specific We Didn’t Start the Fire verse, and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter. You may want to put on something splatter-proof before proceeding. I mean, what the fuck. A whistleblower granted the world a terrifying peek...

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Harry Potter & the Pop Star’s Cousin’s Friend’s Swollen Balls

Harry Potter & the Pop Star’s Cousin’s Friend’s Swollen Balls

 Life in America in 2021 is like being trapped in a snow globe that somebody won’t stop shaking because they’re afraid you’ll gather your bearings enough to notice the crazed, dead stares in your idyllic Norman Rockwell neighbors’ eyes. Also, the flakes are bath...

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Freedom’s Just Another Word For Gettin’ Children Killed

Freedom’s Just Another Word For Gettin’ Children Killed

 I’m feeling kinda nostalgic tonight, for the bland normalcy of the Before Times. Wouldn’t it be nice to post some innocuous gag about the mildly irritating annual reemergence of pumpkin spice everything, and then just go about your day, free from worry about the...

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Golly, I Sure Hope You Like Talking About Horse Dewormer

Golly, I Sure Hope You Like Talking About Horse Dewormer

 Just to rip the bandaid off right up front, we are indeed now in week three of the Won’t Take No Experimental Vaccine Pass the Horse Dewormer story, in case anybody woke up this morning hoping they’d somehow Rip Van Winkled themselves into saner times. You’re not...

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Ron DeSantis’ Vile New Grift and Other Acts of Wingnut Malice

Ron DeSantis’ Vile New Grift and Other Acts of Wingnut Malice

 It was naive of me, but I really did believe things would be a little less crazy, and a little less stupid by now. However, here in the 297th consecutive week of the Exact Same Right Wing Pandemic Tantrum, it’s clear I was foolish to ever dream this fever could...

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Mr. DeSantis Murders His Way to Washington: Capra’s Gone Dark

Mr. DeSantis Murders His Way to Washington: Capra’s Gone Dark

 Has anybody given any thought to putting the good folks at Moderna or Pfizer to work on a cure for brain maggots? Cuz it turns out it’s not enough to just create a solution to the biggest public health crisis we’ve seen in decades, there’s whole ’nother step; you...

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I Hope Ruth Bader Ginsburg Haunts the Shit Out of These Assholes

I Hope Ruth Bader Ginsburg Haunts the Shit Out of These Assholes

  So, I was feeling kinda judgy about the latest cynical serving of Jurassic Product, you know, “you honestly expect me to believe they’d keep making dinosaurs after five movies’ worth of T-rex rampages” kind of stuff, but then I gave a moment’s passing thought...

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