American Madness Journal

Vladimir Putin in the Multiverse of Consequences

Vladimir Putin in the Multiverse of Consequences

  In many ways, the universe has been telling humanity the same story, over and over again, for at least half a decade now, and the moral of that story is that Nationalists Cannot Do One Fucking Thing Right, on account of the debilitating inefficiencies of their...

read more
BREAKING: Right Wing Hatred, Idiocy Ruin Everything (YES, AGAIN)

BREAKING: Right Wing Hatred, Idiocy Ruin Everything (YES, AGAIN)

  If anybody had this week in the office pool as the one when the world’s many asshats would finally stop fucking more or less everything up, and let the rest of us just LIVE OUR FUCKING LIVES IN PEACE, you lost your fucking money, didn’tcha? Well, feel free to...

read more
Remind Me Again, Mr. Putin, What Happens When We Fuck Around?

Remind Me Again, Mr. Putin, What Happens When We Fuck Around?

  Y’know, I’ve been writing these posts for five fucking years now. I’m just…I’m really, REALLY ready to live anywhere other than here, at this hellishly inescapable intersection of idiocy and indecency. Someplace with better restaurants and fewer violently angry...

read more
In Putin’s Russia, War Crimes Commit YOU!

In Putin’s Russia, War Crimes Commit YOU!

  I feel like “don’t put assholes in charge” is probably the single clearest lesson of human history, and yet here we are again, dealing with the inevitable, catastrophic consequences of Putting Assholes in Charge. At the risk of upending an already contentious...

read more
Hitler, But Dumber: The Vladimir Putin Story

Hitler, But Dumber: The Vladimir Putin Story

  See, this is why you don’t let narcissistic assholes run counties. Because countries come with armies. We should have known, I suppose, that even war would find a way to be dumber in this age of fuckheads run amuck, but my God, it’s soul-crushing, how stupid...

read more
Knockoff Hitler Gets His War, and Other Unmitigated Horseshit

Knockoff Hitler Gets His War, and Other Unmitigated Horseshit

  Y’know, my greatest hope is that the need for this blog will fade with time, that the madness dies down, and the billions of humans who just want to get through this damn life with minimal bullshit will no longer be subject to the insane whims of the shittiest...

read more
Welcome to the Bouncy Castle Insurrection (Everything is Very Stupid)

Welcome to the Bouncy Castle Insurrection (Everything is Very Stupid)

 Didja see where CNN hired George Orwell’s Force Ghost as an on-air contributor? You’d think he’d have tons of useful insight to offer, but he mostly just yells, “I fucking TOLD you! Why didn’t anyone fucking LISTEN?” and cries. Which, looking at the news, I totally...

read more
I Got Yer Legitimate Political Discourse RIGHT HERE

I Got Yer Legitimate Political Discourse RIGHT HERE

 Y’know, the way I sorta judge how things’re going in this country boils down to, “is there more Nazi shit going on than last week, or less?” and I tell you, folks, since that fateful escalator ride what seems like a fucking century ago, the answer hasn’t been “less”...

read more
Ted Cruz’s Self-Respect, and Other Myths

Ted Cruz’s Self-Respect, and Other Myths

 I never know what to get anyone for insurrection anniversaries. I imagine the Senate Republican Conference is already up to its collective jowlsy gullet in pocket Constitutions, which doubtless remain unread anyway. Maybe just a picture frame? I can think of a few...

read more
2021: A Year That Can Eat My Whole Ass

2021: A Year That Can Eat My Whole Ass

 As you’re putting the finishing touches on your New Year’s plans, don’t forget: it’s not enough to merely drive a stake through 2021’s heart; you need to cut the bastard’s head off, burn everything, and scatter the ashes separately, or you’re gonna wind up with...

read more
I Know of No Reason Why the PowerPoint Treason Should Ever Be Forgot

I Know of No Reason Why the PowerPoint Treason Should Ever Be Forgot

 I’ve decided to adjust my attitude about this whole Fall-of-Rome thing we’ve got going on in America; I’m just gonna rub it in young folks’ faces, all the rights and privileges I had when I was their age. “Oh yeah, it was fuckin’ fantastic, you could tell the truth...

read more
More Songs About Cat Litter and Violence

More Songs About Cat Litter and Violence

  Hey folks, who wants to chuckle nervously as the clock ticks down to the batshittiest midterm election of our lifetime? Happening Here Bingo was a lot more fun back when everybody didn’t black out their card every single week. The Republican Candidate Refuses...

read more
The One Where the Guy Tries to Kill Nancy Pelosi With a Hammer

The One Where the Guy Tries to Kill Nancy Pelosi With a Hammer

  Well, the midterms’re just around the corner, and things’ve gone more or less apeshit. Welcome to election season in the madhouse; sure am glad everybody’s so heavily armed. So, turns out, when you spend a couple years driving folks violently insane with...

read more

No Results Found

The page you requested could not be found. Try refining your search, or use the navigation above to locate the post.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This