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American Madness Journal

Oh, the Sharts You Can Shart, and Other Cancelled Dr. Seuss Books

Oh, the Sharts You Can Shart, and Other Cancelled Dr. Seuss Books

 Look, I certainly appreciate that the poo-flinging howler monkeys are no longer in charge. And I realize that it is not reasonable at this relatively early point in time to expect a political environment in which zero poo is flung at me by zero howler monkeys, but...

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Sewage Dunk Tank With Ted Cruz Week is the Best Week

Sewage Dunk Tank With Ted Cruz Week is the Best Week

 Well, I don’t know about y’all, but I was just thinking that after an entire year of soul-crushing quarantine, what I really needed was a prolonged period of even more intense isolation, ideally brought about by an extreme weather event, because my life wasn’t quite...

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This Week in Hell: Everything is Stupid and Dangerous and I Hate It

This Week in Hell: Everything is Stupid and Dangerous and I Hate It

 I spend way too much time these days watching choosy Republicans choose fascism, for reasons that are awful and terrifying, of course, but also SO FUCKING DUMB. Like, I get the authoritarianism thing, but wouldn’t you rather be ground beneath the jackboot of a despot...

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Is Josh Hawley America’s Next Top Fascist? Tune in to Find Out!

Is Josh Hawley America’s Next Top Fascist? Tune in to Find Out!

 Ah, who doesn’t love the promise of a brand new year, particularly one in which the likelihood of the American President tear-gassing peaceful protesters in front of the White House is set to drop so dramatically? ‘Course, you knew 2020 wasn’t gonna let us go without...

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Xmas Week in Hell: Still Awful and Stupid, Just Colder

Xmas Week in Hell: Still Awful and Stupid, Just Colder

 Only thing I asked Santa for this year was for Xmas to bring me one day closer to Joe n’ Kamala’s inauguration, and I got that, wrapped tastefully, with a bow I can reuse next year and everything, but it must be noted, my stocking was filled with the same smoldering...

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Fox, Facebook, and Other Monsters Under America’s Bed

Fox, Facebook, and Other Monsters Under America’s Bed

 Hey, before we get started tonight, a quick pro tip for the savvy news consumer: laminate the daily paper before reading it; that way, when one of the many stories of ascendant American fascism inevitably causes you to projectile vomit, you don’t render unread...

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Must’ve Been Some Sort of Sale on Nazi Shit This Week. Yikes.

Must’ve Been Some Sort of Sale on Nazi Shit This Week. Yikes.

 I never thought I’d wax nostalgic over the days when the sole purpose of the Republican Party was to make rich people richer, but now that they’re bringing equal guile and fervor to efforts to feed and grow their shiny new fascist death cult base, I confess I...

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Creeping Fascism SUXX, and Other Hot Takes

Creeping Fascism SUXX, and Other Hot Takes

 This week has been…an unusually specific We Didn’t Start the Fire verse, and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter. You may want to put on something splatter-proof before proceeding. I mean, what the fuck. A whistleblower granted the world a terrifying peek...

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