Friday, August 18th, 2017
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
Dr. Ben Carson is only in politics because he was rude President Obama to his face. At the 2013 National Prayer Breakfast, a traditionally non-political event, Dr. Ben, having been invited as the keynote speaker, decided to use his time to shit on the President and his policies.
Thursday, August 17th, 2017
Hey everybody, before we get started tonight, I’d like to tickle your activist bone a little bit. I’m lobbying the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to add a new category to this year’s Academy Awards: Best Short Film of a Punk Ass Nazi Crying Their Wuss Eyes Out When Consequences Catch Up To Them.
Thursday, August 17th, 2017
Secretary of Education
Betsy DeVos is what happens when bored white ladies have enough money to really fuck shit up. Turns out, if you’re born rich and marry richer, you don’t have to settle for a book club, you can buy yourself a whole cabinet department!
Wednesday, August 16th, 2017
Administrator of the EPA
Scott Pruitt, like a lot of boys his age, grew up watching Captain Planet cartoons. Unlike most boys his age, he decided that the various sludge-smog-and-toxic-waste-slinging villains were the role models for him.
Ok, fine. Pruitt is ten years too old to have grown up on Captain Planet, but fuck you, that’s a good opening paragraph. Make your own fucking website, you don’t like it.
Wednesday, August 16th, 2017
Why are there so many
Nazis in the White House
Advising the President?
Nazis are bad guys
I thought we all knew that
I wonder where decency went