So you’re not a big fan of the white text on a black background look, huh?

 Hey, everybody, it’s another light one; I’m spending most of my days and nights working on a rudimentary time machine designed to send what I believe will be some helpful, clarifying, specific, constitutional changes to James Madison, circa 1785 or so, cleverly...

 I went to the store to pick up a Valentine for my beloved country, but they didn’t have one that said I Still Love You Even Though a Mush-Brained Fascist Has Been Shitting All Over You for Three Years, so I settled for a card with some orange cat professing to “love...

 Y’know, this might be the shortest, lightest, blog I’ve ever written. Since last Friday’s update, the usually-ceaseless onslaught of insanity has been refreshingly mild. It’s been like being locked in a really upscale asylum for a change, instead of the bleak,...

 Rough week, Resisters. It’s no fun watching a 400-pound sack of monkey shit take a victory lap, is it? It makes a hyper-gross schlorping kind of sound, and the stench lingers for days. Well, this too shall pass, motherfuckers. Take my hand, and I’ll guide ya through...

 Oh ho, and now the madness bleeds over onto the blue side of the field, how charming! I admit, I kinda liked having a little island of sanity to rest my weary head upon when necessary, but no, it’s caucus time, bitches, and nowhere is safe now! Sigh. Let’s do that...

  Oh, hello! I didn’t hear you come in! I was out back, burying my country. Yeah, we’re gonna do a little service on Sunday, nothing fancy, but bring a casserole or a pie or something. Let’s round up the news real quick, because I have some serious drinking to...

 I tell you what, friends, a trial in a culture where the people inhabit two separate realities is the best idea Lewis Carroll never had. It would be fascinating if it weren’t for the whole Hey Maybe We Don’t Have a Functioning Constitution Anymore aspect of it, which...

  Hey everybody, I almost hate to interrupt whatever filthy, steamy, sex fantasies y’all are no doubt having about Adam Schiff right this very minute, but I figured we should round up the news real quick before disappearing back into his righteous...

 Well, my shit-kickin’ Resistance chums, the impeachment trial is finally here! Never has the stark divide between our bleeding nation’s rival realities been clearer. We have the truth, honor, decency, and justice on our side, but sometimes I confess I’m a little...

  So I took most of the week to focus on launching my little comic book project (more on that later), and I have to say, diving back into the news cycle after a couple days off, GREAT BALLS OF PURE FUCK WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY? It’s like...

 Last week, I was driven right up to the edge of madness, a perfectly reasonable reaction to all the vag candle news and whatnot. If anything pushes me all the way off the cliff, it’s learning that there’re somehow folks who look around our poor, hurting, world, from...

 Y’know, it’s been one of the bat-shittier weeks of the entire Shart regime, but I really thought I could handle everything and persevere with my madness-chroniclin’ duties, but then I found out about Gwyneth Paltrow’s vag-scented candle, and...that did it, folks....

 I was looking over some old blog entries the other day, and it seems almost quaint to have written about comparatively trivial crap like, “wow, Scott Pruitt buys really expensive lotion haw haw haw” now that we’re breaking shit that won’t get fixed in my lifetime,...

 Ah, there’s nothing like a fresh new year, is there? Change is in the air, hope is ascendant, the possibilities seem limitless...of course we all knew President Crotchrot would find a way to fuck everything up before too long, but could he truly not last three...

 Well, Santa left me a couple cases of my favorite IPA, and a new pair of shit-kickin’ boots, so I’m all outfitted for a whole new year of resistin'. Let’s plow through one last news roundup, and march on to 2020, when we finally get rid of this treasonous fuckhead...

 ‘Twas the night before Xmas, the whole world was dreamingOf a glorious day without Trump’s endless screamingThe stockings are filled with crap meant to amuseThis rhyming shit’s too hard, let’s just do the newsWhile you read this blog, know that Hairplug Himmler keeps...

 Holy fuck, 2019 is finally almost over, and I just want to get across that finish line, like I’ve already run 3 marathons back-to-back, and I know I’ve got one more ahead of me, but can I at least take a quick breather, enjoy some beer and cake and presents before I...

 So, I’ve had a super-sexxxy day, watching along as swing-district House Dems announce, one by one, their intention to vote for the articles of impeachment, and I kinda wanna travel back in time to show my teenage self how cool my life is now, but that kid already had...

 I’ve written Santa more than three dozen letters asking him to please please please just let me wake the fuck up, but at this point I’m once again forced to conclude that this is indeed real life. The good news, I suppose, is that the beer is also real; let’s round...

 Let me just say that in this age of disinformation, I think it’s troubling that you can trust a drunken maniac in a bathrobe and a luchador mask more than an entire political party with millions of members. But, sadly, unlike the institutional GOP, I’m not making any...