Thursday, September 3rd, 2020
Oklahoma
OK-05
Ratings
FiveThirtyEight:
Roll Call:
Cook:
Sabato:
The Bad Gal
Stephanie Bice
Monday, August 17th, 2020
The Good Gal
Jackie Gordon
New York
NY-02
Ratings
FiveThirtyEight:
Roll Call:
Cook:
Sabato:
The Bad Guy
Andrew Garbarino
Andrew Garbarino has been such an obedient little puppet in the New York State Assembly, his donor masters want to send him to Washington to cut their federal taxes for change. Garbarino’s own stated reasons for seeking this seat are full of cold political calculations, and eerily free of constituent concerns. This Dem-trending district was loyal to Peter King for decades, but Pete finally flushed himself off into the sunset, and we can absolutely beat this glorified accountant to plutocrats.
Saturday, August 15th, 2020
The Good Guy
Jon Ossoff
Jon Ossoff is the CEO of Insight TWI, an investigative media company, where he’s produced documentaries exposing the powerful and shitty, up to and including ISIS, so if you want to judge a fella by his enemies, Jon’s pretty impressive.
A former legislative aide to Congressman Hank Johnson, Ossoff’s got legit chops beyond the show biz glitz.
Jon’s 2017 fight in the special election in Georgia’s 6th congressional district was a huge moment for the Resistance, as I’m sure you remember. He didn’t quite get over the finish line in that one, but he showed us we could compete everywhere. Three years later, Lucy McBath serves in GA-06, and we’re flipping similar suburban districts from coast to coast.
Now, Ossoff’s running to get big money out of politics, take action on climate change, expand access to health care, fight political corruption, and protect reproductive rights. Look at what David Perdue stands for. Easy choice, huh?
Oh, and Jon wants to start listening to scientists in order to bring the pandemic under control, in contrast to his opponent’s “please die quietly, you’re disturbing my buddy’s golf game” stance.
Did you know Jon Ossoff interned for John Lewis in high school? So you see, he’s been walking the righteous path for a long time now. Lewis endorsed Jon in this race, and I for one trust the Congressman’s judgment.
Georgia
Georgia
Ratings
FiveThirtyEight:
Roll Call:
Cook:
Sabato:
The Bad Guy
David Perdue
David Perdue was an outsourcing, job-destroying, vulture capitalist before coming to the Senate, and he’s spent his career there looking out for the wealthy (and himself) at the expense of working Georgians, to the great surprise of precisely no one.
If you’re looking for David’s signature legislation, well, he’s not that kind of Senator. He’s more the “publicly pray that Barack Obama dies” type.
When he’s not assaulting college kids for having the audacity to ask him questions, David enjoys pandemic profiteering, like the time he invested in a PPE manufacturer after receiving a classified coronavirus briefing. Did the good Senator share this inside information with his constituents, that they might join in his bounty, or at the very least protect their families from the imminent outbreak? Don’t be silly, serfs aren’t really people!
On top of the aforementioned failings, all of which are disqualifying, Perdue is one of Hairplug Himmler’s very favorite pet Senators. Not merely an enabler, but an accomplice, supporting every racist tweet, harmful policy, and impeachable crime. Gives the boss a run for his money, bigotry-wise, too. Dude’s gotta go.
Georgia Republicans are pissing their pants as their state rapidly shifts purpleward, and we know Governor Brian Kemp will cheat with every corrupt tool at his disposal. We can win this seat, but it will not be easy. Still, keeping shitbag plutocrats like David Perdue away from power is worth fighting for, don’tcha think?
Saturday, August 15th, 2020
The Good Guy
Cal Cunningham
Cal Cunningham is a lieutenant colonel in the United States Army Reserve and a former State Senator. He served three active duty tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, prosecuting contractor fuckery and racking up prestigious leadership awards.
Cunningham’s platform is filled with good, solid, Democrat priorities: education, health care, climate change, all kinds of good shit; take a look for yourself. He’s a particularly strong advocate for expanding broadband access to rural areas, and battling corporate corruption. Perfect for swingy, purple North Carolina.
Thom Tillis and the GOP are clearly shitting their pants over Cal, judging by the dirtbag desperation of their dishonest attacks against him. And while Cunningham has held a small but steady lead in recent polling, well, I don’t imagine y’all need that particular lesson twice.
Cal’s just a smart, accomplished dude who’s been filling his resumé with leadership experience since his class president days. This is the gig he’s been preparing for his whole life; and lord knows North Carolina could use an actual leader instead of the autocrat’s doormat squatting in the seat these days.
North Carolina
North Carolina
Ratings
FiveThirtyEight:
Roll Call:
Cook:
Sabato:
The Bad Guy
Thom Tillis
The nicest thing I can say about Thom Tillis is at least he understands how fucked he is. This sad “hey, wasn’t life swell back in February” strategy may seem ridiculous, but his best shot at re-election probably is a spontaneous nationwide amnesiac wipeout of all memories of the Massive Fucking Up of Literally Everything by Donald Trump and his Sycophantic GOP Puppets.
Most Republicans have been content to be murderously incompetent during the coronavirus outbreak, but for Thom, it’s been an opportunity to show off his instinctive racism as well. It’s probably their shared bigotry that’s made him such a submissive Trump flunky.
A lifelong opponent of women’s rights, Tillis passed one of those unconstitutional forced-ultrasound bills when he was NC House Speaker, and to this day he doesn’t believe women should be autonomous beings, legally or medically.
Some say Senator Tillis is catching peripheral heat from his pal and fellow NC Republicrook Richard Burr’s insider trading scandal. Sure, whatever. There are tons of reasons not to vote for this jagoff, pick one.
Because Tillis sucked before Trump, y’know? He’s anti-climate science, anti-health care, and anti-LGBTQ, but hey, he’s still one of the NRA’s very favorite Senators. He absolutely sucks. Help fire him; you’ll feel better and save your country.
Saturday, August 15th, 2020
The Good Guy
Mark Kelly
Mark Kelly is married to my personal hero, and he’s not so bad himself. Let’s get the ridiculous resumé out of the way up front: 39 combat missions in the First Gulf War, FRICKIN’ ASTRONAUT, bestselling author, co-founder of Americans for Responsible Solutions with his wife, Gabby Giffords. He’s an engineer, too. Fought three bears at once. Well, no, but he probably could, if he wanted to.
Now compare that to Martha “Whatever you say, Mr. Trump, sir” McSally. Now stop laughing. I know it’s hard, but we’ve got a Senate to take back.
An experienced leader, Kelly promises to bring independence and bipartisanship to the post, but he’s also running on a strong Democratic platform, focused on expanding access to health care, fighting climate change, reducing economic inequality and, of course, common sense gun control.
Even after everything Mark and his family have been through, he still fights for civility in an age of divisiveness. Can you imagine the grace of that? Mark Kelly is a much, much better man than I am, and aren’t we supposed to choose the best among us for these jobs?
Arizona
Arizona
Ratings
FiveThirtyEight:
Roll Call:
Cook:
Sabato:
The Bad Gal
Martha McSally
Martha McSally ran for Senate in 2018, and she lost, because she sucks. Governor Doug Ducey, demonstrating the wisdom he’d soon bring to his state’s coronavirus response, appointed her to the state’s other Senate seat before the ink dried on her concession speech, and I never wanna hear one more fucking word about “participation trophies” again.
Arizonans don’t seem pleased that the one person they specifically said should not be their Senator is their Senator, and it doesn’t help that McSally is so fantastically shitty at her job. After making the briefest of stands against Trump’s indecency, she quickly decided that no principle was too dear to discard so long as Martha McSally got to be a Senator.
Since Martha’s record amounts to mostly oath-breaking and death, she can’t run on it, so she’s chosen to lean into her boss’ fascistic attacks on the free press instead, and I dunno, I just prefer Senators who believe in American democracy as outlined in the U.S. Constitution, is that weird?
At the start of the pandemic, McSally was one of the loudest disinformation-spewing voices in her party, but when it came time to pay the bill for the GOP’s murderous mismanagement, she offered only obstruction and hateful divisiveness.
And all this is on top of being awful in all the ways the rest of her NRA lackey, healthcare-thieving party is awful. FIRE THIS SHITTY, SHITTY PERSON.
