So you’re not a big fan of the white text on a black background look, huh?

 Has anybody hit their quarantiniversary yet? I’m starting to make plans for mine; I ordered a really soft, fancy pillow I’m planning to scream into for a few hours, and then maybe I’ll order some tiramisu to eat out of a styrofoam delivery container that was designed...

 Well, I don’t know about y’all, but I was just thinking that after an entire year of soul-crushing quarantine, what I really needed was a prolonged period of even more intense isolation, ideally brought about by an extreme weather event, because my life wasn’t quite...

 How’s everybody enjoying the new normal? It’s...slightly more relaxing, anyway. Slightly. Like, sure, we’re still clinging to a tiny slab of rock in the middle of a live volcano, but there’s tea now. And little triangle-shaped cucumber sandwiches. Quitcher bitchin’....

 If I can borrow a gag, life in the United States these days is like, having finally been liberated from the face-eating tyranny of the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party, millions of folks started throwing tantrums because their own faces remained uneaten, and...

 I almost hesitate to yank away the warm, fuzzy blanket of Biden-y normalcy, but shit remains deeply cray. In fact, we’re witnessing a disturbing number of (admittedly weak-minded) public officials carefully, deliberately choosing the crayest available options from a...

 While shit remains generally cray, it must be said shit is substantially less cray than at any point in recent memory, and with numerous decrayification initiatives already underway, and new ones launching all the time, we may yet live to see the day when shit is...

 Figured I’d give y’all a little somethin’ to read while you’re waiting for the clerk to restock the champagne shelf. (Yer own fault for waiting until the last minute, there was always gonna be a rush) Anyway, the end of America’s first openly fascist presidency is,...

 It’s fascinating, looking at how folks’ politics evolved and changed over the last four years. Take me, for example: I used to consider myself primarily a gun control voter, but now the only thing I care about is shortening the interminable motherfucking lame duck...

 I confess it’s difficult to write today. I live next door to Vlad Putin, y’see, and he kept me up all night tap-dancing with glee at how easy it was to transform the United States of America from a superpower into a shithole, simply by tossing a few memes at...

 You think I could get away with the “I almost didn’t blog, the news was so slow” gag tonight? Like, I could write this super long paragraph about the Indians/Mets trade, really milk it, but ho hum, “otherwise it was pretty quiet out there” or some shit? Personally, I...

 I spend way too much time these days watching choosy Republicans choose fascism, for reasons that are awful and terrifying, of course, but also SO FUCKING DUMB. Like, I get the authoritarianism thing, but wouldn’t you rather be ground beneath the jackboot of a despot...

 Ah, who doesn’t love the promise of a brand new year, particularly one in which the likelihood of the American President tear-gassing peaceful protesters in front of the White House is set to drop so dramatically? ‘Course, you knew 2020 wasn’t gonna let us go without...

 Only thing I asked Santa for this year was for Xmas to bring me one day closer to Joe n’ Kamala’s inauguration, and I got that, wrapped tastefully, with a bow I can reuse next year and everything, but it must be noted, my stocking was filled with the same smoldering...

 With less than a month to go ‘til Old Handsome Joe’s inauguration, the Stoopid Coo is getting stoopider so quickly, I do believe we’re going to need more Os. The Coo is at least Stooopid at this point, and historians suggest we may yet attain levels approaching...

 This transition shit is killing me, y’all. Longtime readers know I’ve often likened life under the Turd Reich to being trapped in a dryer full of hammers and badgers. Ok, so the dryer has finally stopped now, and I love that, I do, but the badgers are still a...

 Look, I didn’t expect things to be totally back to normal by now; that’s obviously not a reasonable ask. At the same time, I feel as though we all expected the promised reduction in the daily delirium levels to have kicked in by now, instead we’re still stuck in...

 I think I speak for everyone in asking, “Whose bright fucking idea was it to stretch out the transition so goddamn long?” It’s waaaaaaaay past time to start tossing all the ill-fitting suits and stale cheeseburgers out on the White House lawn. Get on with it.We’re...

 Y’know, I really do love worrying less about what the crazy man is doing with the power of the American presidency, but watching the Republican Party congeal into its next, apparently equally grotesque form is...hoo boy. It’s somethin’. Like, “oh, we’re keeping ALL...

 Ah, another wondrous, fun-filled week, trapped in America with an idiot death cult hellbent on playing chicken with objective reality. You can check out any time you like, but...well, you know. I’m not gonna lie, the winning has been spectacular, but watching the...

 Well, I trust everyone enjoyed their long holiday weekend, and gave thanks for the extremely amusing ongoing downfall of one Donald John Trump, until recently the President of the United States, now merely an aesthetically displeasing perpetual motion losing machine....