American Madness Journal

Holy fuck, the madness is an inch thick in the air these days. If this blog post cuts out suddenly, it's because I'm walling myself up in the cellar with the Amontillado, and I don't know when the wifi will cut out. So let's jump right into the deep end of the pool,...

BREAKING SHOWER CAP SCOOP: We all remember reading about the meeting Mitch McConnell called shortly after Barack Obama's election, the one where he laid out the Republican plan to obstruct every Obama goal, to deny him accomplishments and make him a one-term...

Sooooo...let's do something a little different tonight. Let's talk about the battles we fight and the terms we fight them on. Let's talk about the "Don't politicize the tragedy, this is a time for healing" crowd. You don't need me to tell you this kind of talk isn't...

Looking back, the Presidential debates really did us a disservice last year. The moderators failed to ask the questions that would turn out to be relevant. Questions like "Does it matter to you whether an American citizen lives or dies, assuming that citizen is Puerto...

I tell you folks, shit's so crazy it's like we're playing paintball with bat crap. Shit could only be crazier if, I dunno, the GOP nominated a member of the Taliban to run for an open Senate seat. ...wait, what? (Reads about last night's Alabama Senate primary...

Quiet weekend, huh? I mean, ok, the American President opened up a fresh new front in the culture wars for no good reason beyond his uncontrollable personal racism, but that's just how things are now, right? RIGHT? ...ugh. Well, there's a major humanitarian crisis in...

Whelp, in the last couple of days our dipshit President has been called a blustering chimpanzee by Jane Goodall, and a "dotard" by that one chubby, belligerent North Korean fellow. Accuracy notwithstanding, it makes one sad that William Shakespeare won't get a crack...

Holy SHIT, Resisters! I last checked in two short nights ago, and I can't fucking BELIEVE the insanity that's gone down since then. Let's jump right in, 'ere my brain runs screaming from my very skull. Well, the Man with Phalangeal Stunting stood in front of the whole...

Hey folks. Is shit still cray? I mean, the roof of my place might be sagging under the weight of all the bat guano, but it hasn't caved in...yet. Sunday was pretty quiet. I mean, the President of the United States sent out a tweet that advocated violence against...

Hey there Resisters, I had a little time tonight, and I thought I'd check in on the madness before the orderlies sedate me. Princess Ivanka wants everyone to know that just cuz she's a high-level Presidential advisor doesn't mean it's reasonable for people to expect...

Wouldja believe I got my Monday night blog up like, six minutes before the Ted Cruz porn story broke? Luckily, America's still laughing at America's Most Punchable Senator, ironically pounding on himself. Anyway, I'm wrapped up snugly in my pumpkin spice...

I tell ya, people...things are crazy in my country these days. Crazier than Peggy Noonan's version of the Civil War and Reconstruction, and THAT, my friends, is mighty goddamn nutty. Well, you knew Hurricane Irma was for real when Swollen RageTick Rush Limbaugh...

Well, I haven't had time to check in with the usual roundup, been so busy getting the site launched...is shit still cray? Hmmm...wildfires raging all across the west, right on L.A.'s doorstep...the second major hurricane in a month tearing through the Caribbean on its...

Ever been called a “Snowflake?”

‘Course you have. That’s the go-to play in the Cult45 toolkit. “Go back to your SAFE SPACE, SNOWFLAKE,” screeches the little Trumpkin, who then high-fives himself.

I get a kick out of it, personally.

What the SHIT, y'all? The news this week is like they took the guy from the Munch Scream painting and crucified him to a live yak with a staple gun. And then they turned the yak loose in a china shop. You got floating gangs of fire ants rampaging through Houston,...

I try to take the weekends off, y'know? Watch some baseball, read a little, sleep in...step away from the news. And then I pick it back up on Monday, and it's like every horror-movie scream in history stacked one on top of the other, blasted directly into my brain via...

Kinda calm today, wasn't it? At least by the ever-plummeting standards of America in 2017? Nobody blew up Guam, so why make a fuss, right? Today was merely dropping-acid-in-the-House-of-Mirrors crazy, rather than the Marquis-de-Sade-directs-a-SAW-film nightmare we're...

Before we get started tonight, I want to do something a little different. This blog can come off a little bit Anti-Trump, but I want everybody to know that I am both fair AND balanced, and I am fully capable of giving credit where credit is due. So a big fat fucking...

Hey folks, I don't believe we've spoken since Steve Bannon's swollen thorax got dragged from the White House, coating the floors with a sticky, viscous, gin-smelling fluid, which my sources tell me Reince Preibus has been rehired to remove. Bannon snarled something...

Hey everybody, before we get started tonight, I’d like to tickle your activist bone a little bit. I’m lobbying the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to add a new category to this year’s Academy Awards: Best Short Film of a Punk Ass Nazi Crying Their Wuss Eyes Out When Consequences Catch Up To Them.

  Sitting around waiting for Donald Trump to get arrested is at least pleasanter than sitting around waiting for Donald Trump to concede, or leave office, or potentially provoke nuclear catastrophe on the Korean Peninsula. I could do without the lurking threat of...

  Before we get started, I’d like to take a moment to congratulate everyone on successfully navigating another week without poisoning yourself to death with livestock dewormer. Poisoning yourself to death with livestock dewormer is something that can happen to...

  Y’know, I don’t mind struggling over the soul of the nation, but I confess I’m beginning to resent the quality of the opposition. It feels like I’ve been trapped in a checkout line, between a shrieking toddler and a lady with an inch-thick stack of expired...

  So, my birthday was this week, and I asked the Birthday Fairy for one week without assholes, so I could blog about something pleasant, like cupcakes, or cowboy movies, but the Birthday Fairy told me he wasn't a fucking magician, so I guess we’ll do what we we...

  So, Marjorie Taylor Greene wants a divorce. Wouldn’t it be lovely if it were that simple? To just herd all the weirdos into Florida, and let Bugs saw ‘em right off the continent? Sit on the beach, watch ‘em float away into the Atlantic, that endless,...