American Madness Journal

Et Tu, Brady?

Et Tu, Brady?

 Spent another lovely week enjoying the various side effects of the coronavirus vaccine, stuff like “not catching Covid,” “not getting hospitalized with Covid,” and “not dying from Covid.” Like millions of rational people, my satisfaction level with this product is...

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Oh, Y’know, Just a Death Cult Doin’ Death Cult Stuff

Oh, Y’know, Just a Death Cult Doin’ Death Cult Stuff

 Well friends, things’re more or less exactly the same as when last we met, which is to say, grease-fire-in-the-bath-salts-factory-behind-the-clown-college-level insane. So grab a raincoat and some galoshes, let’s wade through this sewage together, wheeeeeeee! As a...

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Show Me on the Doll Where Critical Race Theory Touched You

Show Me on the Doll Where Critical Race Theory Touched You

 I don’t know about y’all, but the first post-Turd Reich Independence Day felt pretty dang sweet to this masked drunkard. The simple absence of cheap, banana republic military spectacles was a welcome departure, for a start. Ultimately, I suppose I prefer my assholes...

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QAnon, Zyklon B, and the Rest of the Wingnut Alphabet

QAnon, Zyklon B, and the Rest of the Wingnut Alphabet

 Life ain’t bad these days, huh? Sun’s out, stuff’s opening back up, and if you don’t stand downwind, you’ll barely even notice the stench of fascism as it takes root on the American right. Still, before we embark on a richly-deserved weekend of sweet, sweet normalcy,...

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The One With the Republican Party’s Hard Turn Against Democracy

The One With the Republican Party’s Hard Turn Against Democracy

 Shots in arms. Money in pockets. Smilin’ Joe Biden’s approval rating holdin’ steady, even rising. Shit, if it wasn’t for all the crazed, violent white supremacists poppin’ up all over the place, we’d be on the brink of the best summer ever. Well, let’s chronicle this...

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Lies, Damned Lies, and Lies About Beer Being Made From Meat

Lies, Damned Lies, and Lies About Beer Being Made From Meat

 Republicans have yet to find a test of human decency too basic to enthusiastically fail, so ain’t it great they’re not in charge anymore? The news has two settings these days: Democrats fixing shit, and Republicans running around, screaming and rubbing poo all over...

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Shower Cap Will Return in (Insert Bond Reference)

Shower Cap Will Return in (Insert Bond Reference)

Hello, friends! Hope you’re enjoying your woke beers and your heathen potato toys and watching your furry kids defecate in taxpayer-funded litter boxes at school. In short, I wish you all the bounties of our lord Dark Brandon’s satanic reign. Go ahead and...

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Moses Supposes Erroneously (Yes, Again)

Moses Supposes Erroneously (Yes, Again)

We’ve been living through the stubbornly persistent golden age of conservative bumblefuckery for some time now, but I predict Speaker Johnson’s work in the field will ultimately stand up alongside the greats. Brownback. McCarthy. Reeves. Perhaps even the Dotard...

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If Moses Had Been This Bad at His Job, the Bible Would Be Shorter

If Moses Had Been This Bad at His Job, the Bible Would Be Shorter

  What an asparagus fart of a news cycle, right? Republican special counsel delivers a sneak low blow to the job-creator guy, sending allllllllll the shitty little Cillizzas of the political media scurrying gleefully to and fro, to squawk their favorite squawk of all:...

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Thirty Two Short Films About Hating Taylor Swift

Thirty Two Short Films About Hating Taylor Swift

Hey there, everybody. I know it’s been a bit of a week, and there’s a lot to get through, so if anyone needs to step outside to hate Taylor Swift for five minutes, I totally understand. Go for it. Don’tcha just HATE TAYLOR SWIFT? So much? Aren’t you literally...

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So I Guess It’s Down to Nikki Haley and the Rapist

So I Guess It’s Down to Nikki Haley and the Rapist

Aw, man, I thought he was gonna step on a few more rakes for us, just for old times’ sake, but perhaps there’s a limit to Ron DeSantis’ capacity for public humiliation after all. Either way, bowing to reality and his sphincter-mouthed orange God, young Ronward bent...

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Shower Cap Blog
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Et Tu, Brady?
Oh, Y’know, Just a Death Cult Doin’ Death Cult Stuff
Show Me on the Doll Where Critical Race Theory Touched You
I Think Kevin McCarthy is a Robot Specifically Programmed to Execute Leadership Tasks Poorly
Racism, Fascism, Conspiracy Theories, and COVID-19: Not a Rerun From 2020, I Swear
Wow, a Week When Marjorie Taylor Greene Wasn’t the Absolute Worst, How Novel
Now That We Are Magnetized, My Antifa Comrades, the World Will Be Ours!
QAnon, Zyklon B, and the Rest of the Wingnut Alphabet
The One With the Republican Party’s Hard Turn Against Democracy
Ted Cruz’s Musings on Masculinity In the Military? Oh, My Wish Came True.
Gas-Hoarding, Protein-Shedding, and Other Uniquely American Mental Disorders
When Liz Cheney Isn’t Shitty Enough For Your Cult, You’ve Made Some Choices
Lies, Damned Lies, and Lies About Beer Being Made From Meat
Carlson, Lindell, Chauvin, and Other Bleached Buttholes of the White Nationalist American Right
It’s Choose Your Own Adventure, America: Infrastructure or White Nationalism?
Don’t Worry, Congressman Gaetz, You’ll Hit Rock Bottom at Some Point. Surely.
I’m Sorry, the Line For the Matt Gaetz Dunk Tank Forms 674 Miles Down the Road
Maybe Letting the White Supremacists Decide Who Gets to Vote Isn’t the Best Idea
Gosh, I Wonder If the Party Made Entirely of Hate-Mongers Has Anything To Do With All These Hate Crimes
Joe Biden’s Late-Term Abortion of Bipartisanship, & Other Tales of Terror
Shower Cap Will Return in (Insert Bond Reference)
Moses Supposes Erroneously (Yes, Again)
If Moses Had Been This Bad at His Job, the Bible Would Be Shorter
Thirty Two Short Films About Hating Taylor Swift
So I Guess It’s Down to Nikki Haley and the Rapist
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