So you’re not a big fan of the white text on a black background look, huh?

You could almost forgive the wingnut disinformation apparatus their lazy-yet-brazen (brazy? blazen?) attempts to photoshop Joe Biden into a senility crisis, considering how difficult it must be to find footage of their own candidate where he isn’t waving at imaginary...

From a certain angle, the Dotard had his best week, legally speaking, in quite some time. No, think about it. Today, he stands before the public facing fewer felony charges than he has in months. Once, that number climbed and climbed, ultimately attaining a truly...

  As expected, the pudding-spined mediocrity that passes for a strongman in America’s cut-rate conservative culture proved far too chickenshit to testify under oath, so the defense of the Republican presidential nominee rested, not with a bang, but with the merest...

My, my, my, the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse has become the place to see and be seen for the proto-fascist sycophant set. It’s like Studio 54, only for excruciatingly dorky, power-hungry nitwits. “Hey, wanna play hooky from Congress to help an adjudicated rapist...

Let’s address the elephant in the room. Obviously, all the RFK Jr. brainworm jokes were long gone hours before my Friday night posting time. I don’t have some awesome, worth-the-wait, totally original, unheard RFK Jr. brainworm joke for you. Apologies. For about ten...

At the risk of repeating myself, adjudicated rapist/GOP presidential nominee Donald J. Trump spent the week napping through his felony trial, though rumors of farting in his sleep are just rumors and democracy dies in darkness so we must assume he is only napping and...

I’ve decided to compose a comedy of manners/courtroom thriller about our topsy-turvy times. My working title: The Drowsy Rapist. Perhaps The Chilly Rapist. The Drowsy, Chil- no, that’s too much. ANYWAY, there’s this rapist, who commits bunches and bunches of crimes on...

My dearest friends, I must regretfully inform you I have been rendered obsolete. Not by AI, but by all too naturally occurring anti-intelligence. I don’t say this lightly, but I believe we may have just endured the single dumbest week in human history. You know you’re...

With memories of the divisive presidential primary fading faster than the idea of Ron DeSantis as a viable national political figure, MAGA Nation has turned peacefully inward, to contemplate the really big questions in life, like “is the rapist game show host we...

Hi everybody! Miss me? I missed y’all! Y’know, I actually made arrangements for a fill-in blogger, but I had to pull her at the last minute after I finally ran the background check. All she told me at the interview was that her name was Ronna, and she was absolutely,...

Hello, friends! Hope you’re enjoying your woke beers and your heathen potato toys and watching your furry kids defecate in taxpayer-funded litter boxes at school. In short, I wish you all the bounties of our lord Dark Brandon’s satanic reign. Go ahead and...

We’ve been living through the stubbornly persistent golden age of conservative bumblefuckery for some time now, but I predict Speaker Johnson’s work in the field will ultimately stand up alongside the greats. Brownback. McCarthy. Reeves. Perhaps even the Dotard...

  What an asparagus fart of a news cycle, right? Republican special counsel delivers a sneak low blow to the job-creator guy, sending allllllllll the shitty little Cillizzas of the political media scurrying gleefully to and fro, to squawk their favorite squawk of all:...

Hey there, everybody. I know it’s been a bit of a week, and there’s a lot to get through, so if anyone needs to step outside to hate Taylor Swift for five minutes, I totally understand. Go for it. Don’tcha just HATE TAYLOR SWIFT? So much? Aren’t you literally...

Aw, man, I thought he was gonna step on a few more rakes for us, just for old times’ sake, but perhaps there’s a limit to Ron DeSantis’ capacity for public humiliation after all. Either way, bowing to reality and his sphincter-mouthed orange God, young Ronward bent...

What we need is a new word, yes, probably a German one, that would mean “laugh-out-loud embarrassing, but in a sufficiently fascist manner as to remain unnerving.” It’s that thing we’re all sick of feeling. I could use that word right now, since it’s time to talk...

Well, the Iowa caucuses are finally upon us, and barring a Hail Mary from the weather manipulation wing of the Haley campaign, the babbling rapist who spends his days meandering from courtroom to courtroom, pausing periodically to demonstrate, for reasons which are...

Happy Insurrectiversary, everybody! From the donning of the shamanic headdress to the theatrical reenactments of Roger Stone’s conversation with Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio to the cherubic bleats of the schoolchildren chanting “Hang Mike Pence! Hang Mike Pence!,”...

The madness tends t’be mercifully light at the end of the year, as Republicans nurse wounds sustained during family holiday card photo shoots. I certainly don’t intend to look this particular gift horse in the mouth; let’s make it a quick one tonight, and get back to...

Well, having arrived at the “Jimmy Comer is hiding under the bed from Steve Doocy because he can’t take the heat on Fox n’ Fiendz” stage of the shampeachment charade, House Republicans figured the time was ripe to link arms and follow Kentucky’s kookiest kakistocrat...