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18 hours ago
Hah! I was already not eating romaine lettuce literally every minute of my life!
18 hours ago
Isn’t this like offering a free cookie? https://t.co/0tn3C4Sq5m
18 hours ago
Proven to be inefficient. Of COURSE they’re doing this. https://t.co/YPqVZOYoZI

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American Madness Journal

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Flynn Flipping Day!

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Flynn Flipping Day!

A joyous Flynn Flipping Day to you all! This is truly my favorite holiday! Tonight, children will gather around the Flynn Flipping Tree to engage in the traditional Flynn Flipping Plea Bargaining Ceremony, where they stooge out their siblings' bad behavior in an...

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Seb Gorka’s Too Sexy For His Jordache Suede Vest and Other News

Seb Gorka’s Too Sexy For His Jordache Suede Vest and Other News

I must've left the Thanksgiving leftovers out overnight, right? They grew some sort of hallucinogenic mold, and the weekend's Pink Elephants on Parade insanity is just a figment of my imagination, right? ...right? Well, I wanna dive right into the largest controversy...

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Happy Thanksgiving!  Hope Lisa Murkowski Lets You Have Another One!

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope Lisa Murkowski Lets You Have Another One!

Well, Happy Thanksgiving, Resisters! This year I find myself shockingly appreciative for the absence of an initiated-by-a-pissing-contest-between-the-two-least-secure-men-on-the-planet nuclear war, so I'll give thanks for that, and for Special Counsel Bob Mueller and...

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Bernie Bernstein and the Pedophile of Azkaban, er, Alabama

Bernie Bernstein and the Pedophile of Azkaban, er, Alabama

Folks, I know I say it a lot, and perhaps the repetition has stripped the phrase of meaning, but...shit be cray. How cray? I'll tell you. Some Yodeling Cracker Thumb called 'Blake Shelton' was declared the "sexiest man alive." Dadbod isn't THAT in, okay? If Blake...

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Trump Junior Drops His Mixtape, “2 Dumb 2 Collude”

Trump Junior Drops His Mixtape, “2 Dumb 2 Collude”

Remember the days when you could read the news without wearing sterilized gloves? When you could check in on the various shenanigans and goings-on of the movers and shakers without needing bulk quantities of hand sanitizer and bleach nearby? Fuck, do we HAVE to keep...

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Oh, Wilburrrrrrrrrr!  Also, I Think Jared Broke the Middle East

Oh, Wilburrrrrrrrrr! Also, I Think Jared Broke the Middle East

Hi everybody. I just popped out of the trenches of the Secret Antifa War to see if anything interesting's going on. ...holy fuck. It really never stops, does it? Rick Perry must've poured a little science sauce on his smart guy glasses, when he posited Perry's First...

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Betsy DeVos’ Media Tour: Is Our Education Secretary Learning?

Betsy DeVos’ Media Tour: Is Our Education Secretary Learning?

Hey folks, sorry for not checking in over the weekend. I went on a little bender, drunk out of my mind on Martin Shkreli's tears. I woke up behind a Wendy's dumpster clutching what I had initially believed was an exclusive Wu-Tang Clan album, but which turned out to...

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Shower Cap

Sign Up for My Updates!

18 hours ago
Hah! I was already not eating romaine lettuce literally every minute of my life!
18 hours ago
Isn’t this like offering a free cookie? https://t.co/0tn3C4Sq5m
18 hours ago
Proven to be inefficient. Of COURSE they’re doing this. https://t.co/YPqVZOYoZI

No Results Found

The page you requested could not be found. Try refining your search, or use the navigation above to locate the post.

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